What your favourite Melbourne night out spot says about you

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What your favourite Melbourne night out spot says about you

Words by Arielle Richards

Do you hang out at any of these popular Melbourne night spots?

Melbourne’s many nighttime activities offer an abundance of choice for everyone involved. You have your bars, restaurants, clubs, pubs, parks, park benches, gelaterias, cinemas, skateparks, must I go on?

But when the sun settles itself over the horizon and the street lamps come alive, where do you go? Where do you find yourself? This may come as a shock, but, your favourite spot in which to while away your night says it all about you.

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Paradise Alley

The vast appeal of this hotspot makes it difficult to nail down a specific clientele. You could be anything from a craft beer bro, casual inner-north bar-hopper, to a mixology fanatic. You are the quintessence of a person who is out for a drink at nighttime, whatever that means.

Shady Lady


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Frozen piña coladas, tecates with divine verdita and lovely staff to top it all off – if Shady Lady’s your go-to, you have excellent taste. I could say more here, but to be honest, I’m jealous of you. On karaoke night, you’re not afraid of the stage, belting out classics like a born performer. You might also be a hot mum.

The Club


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A post shared by MISCELLANIA (@miscellania_)

Whatever entry hallway you’re shuffling down, whether it be at Miscellania, Sub Club, Yah Yahs, Poof Doof , Pulp or Revs (a classic),  you know you’re in for a big one at the club. You’ve spent more money on Uber Pools than you’d like to admit. You’re not afraid to get a little freaky and you often stay out late enough to see the sunrise. Your house is stocked with hangover essentials – chips and Powerade – and sleeping in until 4pm is a common occurrence in your life.

Section 8


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You’re likely working on some kind of creative project and you’re ready to tell everyone about it by yelling over the DJ. You’re like to boogie, but you also like to chill. You have patience – a little line won’t slow you down – and you HATE paying a cover fee. Whenever your friends drag you out to some other spot and you have to fork out money for entry, you find yourself dreaming of the familiar wooden palettes at Section 8, the beers, that unbeatable atmosphere…

Rooftop Bar


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You like your perfectly stirred cocktails with a side of city skyscape. You’re fancy. You might have good taste in music. You’re not afraid to fight for a good spot on the steps. Maybe you’re new in town, taking the ‘rents out for a drink, or just visiting. Maybe you just know that all drinks taste better when you’re closer to heaven – six floors up to be precise.

Cinema Nova


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You’re a traditional, and you know what’s good for you. Why blow cash at a venue, sitting around watching randoms getting pissed around you, when you could be watching a delectable film, in the dark, getting pissed on red wine and margaritas? That’s right, Cinema Nova is one of the most under-appreciated bars in the city. Did we forget to mention the menu a la carte? Choc tops, vegan popcorn and an extensive lolly bar… fine dining who?



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Let’s continue on the Carlton trend while we’re here. If your idea of a night out on the town involves a stop-in at Pidapipo, well, we don’t blame you. There’s nothing wrong with fabulous ice cream against the romantic ambience of little Italy on a summer evening. Hell, that’s everybody’s dream right? Perhaps that’s something to contemplate as you wait twenty minutes in line to make the dream a reality.

Some spot under the Westgate bridge 

You take partying VERY seriously. It is one of the core foundations of your being. You’ll put up with a lot – being chased by the cops, wandering through a pitch-black field, battling the elements – in the name of a good party. You’re the person everyone’s texting on a Friday night like ‘send location’. You like to wear black. You may or may not have passed out in the bushes once or twice.

The Tote


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You love any form of rock music. Wearing a leather jacket, red lipstick and flayed jeans, The Tote is your home away from home. When the place was in danger of being sold off to developers, you campaigned harder than you ever had in your life to save it. Your tolerance for beer is superhumanly high, as is your tolerance for up and coming bands. You cheer with vigour!


You respect women, a LOT. Whether you’re sipping cocktails on the rooftop, cramming into the music room or snacking on Thai food somewhere in the middle, you’re not afraid to flirt and fraternise. You probably dressed up for this. Maybe you put on a nice pair of shoes. Also you have great carrying skills – they pour the drinks all the way to the rim, which we love.



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You like to splash your cash. It’s a common occurrence for you to find yourself at the Cas at the end of the night, breaking in that sweet oxygenated air.  Southbank offers a range of nice watering holes with a view, plus those wild flame tower displays that, seemingly out of nowhere, just happen. According to Google, the Gas Brigades Fire Show shoots the world’s largest fireballs into the sky. Fun, hey? It’s almost comforting to know that no matter where you are or what you’re doing, somewhere out there, the world’s largest fireballs are being shot into the sky, right here in Melbourne town.

Marquis of Lorne


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On your weekends, you like to make the trek to the north side. It’s always worth the $20 Uber home, with so many fabulous bars, pubs and restaurants to choose from. The Marquis is your favourite because you like a venue which offers all three in one – pub experience downstairs, incredible dining on the middle floor, and a rooftop bar up top – with a great local vibe to match.



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It’s not a good night unless it’s 1am and you’re ordering your third plate of oysters, right? Missing those long, luscious nights you spent in some rural European town on your gap year, sipping Aperol Spritzes and picking at antipasti ‘til the sun came up? The lack of reception in the venue helps take you back in time, or was it all those negronis? Wake up! You’re in Brunswick East, it’s three in the morning and you haven’t moved from your loveseat in hours. It’s bedtime.

For more on Melbourne night out spots, head here