It’s going to be a killer 31-days at the late night haunt with the creamy crop of Melbourne’s rock bands ready to explode your minds while you indulge in whatever vices take your fancy. It’s time to go all Matrix-style cave rave while the mindless corporate robots slowly try to eat through to our only sanctuary. You won’t even have to worry about that ball-breaking hangover, with comedians on stage every Sunday to restore the dopamine levels in your cranium.
It’s a happy day for rock music and after the closure of so many totally excellent venues it’s time to celebrate a victory. Tell your friends! Tell your postman! Even tell that creepy clown that stands outside your window late at night whistling the theme to The Godfather while staring into your soul. Everybody’s welcome to the little rock’n’roll venue that could.
So any of you that have found yourself on the Yah Yah’s stage at 3am dancing like Patrick Swayze just pulled you out of the corner, it’s time to show your gratitude. How? Check out this assortment of bum punting good gigs and get your punted arse there to see it happen. No pussyfooting around and no umming or ahhing. If you like it, then start supporting it by partying till your ears bleed tears of pleasure. It seems developers and restaurateurs are forgetful bastards and are in good need of reminding to stop fucking with the Melbourne music scene.
Wednesday residency: The Pass Outs
The Pass Outs have a penchant for melody over their straight up rock riffs and, after selling out their recent album launch at Cherry, are now looking to rip up Yah Yah’s. Wednesday is a bit of a shit night to go out but here’s a bit of advice if you’re feeling lazy and tired. Imagine the people around you are those shit eating co-workers who always tell you it’s hump day and power up on that rage until it explodes out of you in a dangerous dance routine of karate kicks and fist pumps. You’ll be the bell of the ball.
Thursday residency: Palace of the King
These guys play some real heavy psychedelic trippy shit and they’re choosing this residency to launch their new vinyl. Palace of the King’s riffs would be best enjoyed with one of those ‘doobie’ things I’ve heard so much about. I’ve never tried one because once my friend Mark told me he got lost in his car and couldn’t get out for three days after he did a smoke. Lose your shit to these guys every Thursday, bitches.
Friday July 4: Redcoats, Child and Fuck The Fitzroy Doom Scene (The Grand Relaunch)
This is a big one! The official relaunch party is sure to leave your face in a disgusting puddle of gristle on the floor at your feet. I’m a giant fan of hating on things I have little to no knowledge about so I’m all for telling the Fitzroy doom scene to suck a lemon. Fuck The Fitzroy Doom Scene play some head-banging stoner rock that will leave you moving your head around like Batman for the rest of the year. Child’s mountainous bluesy riffs are coupled with some slick lead guitar lines that sound like the guys have been sitting in a high school time capsule for the past 50 years. Closing this festival of fiendish delights will be the dirty swamp rock of Redcoats and at the end of proceedings any faces not collected off the floor will become the property of James Young. Oh, and if you miss out on this first Friday of musical mayhem, the bands will return to the stage every Friday during the month.
Saturday July 5: Bonjah
Bonjah have had quite the spree since releasing their latest album, Beautiful Wild, which is still spending time at the pointy end of the ARIA charts. A while back, they were a loose unit of bluegrass and roots but have since evolved into a rollicking rock’n’roll rollercoaster. Although the current status on the looseness of their units was not available at the time of publication, it’s this hack’s opinion that first Saturday is going to be a bloody wild ride.
Saturday July 12: Dead City Ruins, Stone Revival, Ugly Kings, Two Headed Dog
Shave your head and buy some nice stomping boots to see Dead City Ruin’s punk rawk tear Yah Yah’s apart. There’s another band playing called Two Headed Dog which could be a really good way of calling someone a two-faced bitch. They’ve got a fierce bluesy punk swagger that sounds like what you’d imagine The Doors would have been like if they were born in the ’80s.
Saturday July 19: Drunk Mums
Fresh off touring the country for the release of their single, Plastic, Drunk Mums have been carving up stages around the land like your dad on Christmas. Their garage punk will boil your blood like that hilarious moment when our esteemed elected leaders decided to stop funding the Climate Commission. We’re all fucked and when we enter our Water World phase of existence it’ll most likely be the Drunk Mums robbing you for that precious soil.
Thursday July 24: Kingswood
On the last Thursday of the month, Kingswood are stealing Palace of the King’s thunder and taking over their residency. It’s a pre-Splendour party for the lads whose heavy rock has become as infectious as the latest animal-to-human crossover virus. Currently no cure has been found and people are being asked to quarantine themselves at their closest Kingswood gig.
Saturday July 26: Pierce Brothers play two sets (afternoon and night)
Two shows in one day is nothing to these busking brothers who have been battle hardened to any imaginable force of nature you could think of. I’ve personally witnessed them walk through fire while eating a double down and neither intense heat nor the slow build-up of cholesterol seemed to harm them. The boys have shifted around 25,000 copies of their two releases entirely independently, and are currently playing their way around the country thrilling crowds with their intricate blues and roots music. Five sold out shows at Shebeen is making sure these tickets are going to be hotter than the car radios at Laverton market.
