In the unforgettable opening scene of the legendary 1996 film Trainspotting,Ewan McGregor’s character Renton is fleeing the police while soliloquising about choosing drugs over “life”. The scene is soundtracked by Iggy Pop’s Lust For Life, a move that not only reintroduced the seminal rock’n’roller to a whole new generation, but also enhanced the cultural impact of Danny Boyle’s cinematic masterpiece.
How things change. In 2015, James Newell Osterberg, Jr. (Iggy Pop) has teamed up with Australian pop princess Kylie Minogue for what could be the worst song in the world: Christmas Wrapping. It’s the fourth track on Minogue’s first ever Christmas album, Kylie Christmas. The song was originally performed by ‘80s new wave band The Waitresses (who are best known for the 1982 hit I Know What Boys Like), but this dreadful cover negates all of the sardonic self-awareness and reeks of a pop star desperately seeking a British #1.
Minogue’s version starts with a jingle bell and a looming rock guitar before the beat kicks in and Kylie starts rapping, “Bah Humbug, now that’s too strong / ‘Cause it is my favourite holiday / But all this year’s been a busy blur / Don’t think I have the energy.” Iggy contributes the occasional line in his signature Detroit slur, but fails to exert any impact. In fact, this recording positions Iggy Pop as an awkward real life version of Love Actually’s Billy Mack – the washed out rock legend searching for relevance through a Christmas #1.
Needless to say, it’s a travesty. We could talk about the other songs – such as Santa Claus Is Coming to Town featuring Frank Sinatra and Only You featuring TV’s James Corden – but what’s the fucking point?
BY DAN WATT
