That guy known for breaking more than just a girl’s heart was here in our backyard. OMG! (as the kids would say) As a music whore comfortable in their masculinity I made the venture to Chris Brown’s screamed-filled Melbourne trek and came out fairly impressed. It was clear by night’s end that no amount of bad press can extinguish the love Breezy’s young fans have for him.
Things got off to a hell of a start as a group got into it with security, ending with one person being tackled, while the rest were detained. Here’s hoping that more drastic methods don’t get employed in the future.
DJ Havana Brown had the adrenaline in the building pumping, like all good opening acts should. The stunning 26-year-old does next to nothing on stage, letting her song selection and energy do the talking. She does prove an attractive alternative to the sausage-party that constitutes the DJ scene. She also took the time to debut her kinda generic electro-pop single We Run The Night.
Following Brown’s lead, world renowned dance troupe Justice Crew made sure to lip-synch to a couple of new songs they’ve recorded, including one with Flo-Rida. They also managed to squeeze in some energetic dance routines with the whole exercise feeling oddly surreal, like that episode of The Simpsons where Bart joined a boy-band.
Next up was that beacon of multiculturalism and queen of the award show blunder, Jessica Mauboy. Upstaged later by an impromptu dance battle in the crowd, Mauboy did prove a natural with her near-flawless vocals. She was all down-home charm, but weirdly lacked the crowd-working chops.
The reaction Chris Brown got once he made his belated entrance was unlike anything I’d heard before. A fan in the front row launched a bra onto the stage (presumably not the one she was wearing). All the prepubescent girls lost their minds at the sight of his tattooed torso, as he changed outfits several times. He and his dancers even rocked some Tron-inspired laser suits as he performed the new single Beautiful People.
Disco ball spinning and lights darting off the walls, the Rod Laver Arena seemingly housed an underage rave during his house-style anthem Forever. While Brown may have blown his chance at being the heir to the Michael Jackson throne with his poor personal choices, the kid will be alright as long as he keeps his shit together.
Loved: The fact that an underage event had so many sexual overtones. I never got to see Salt N Pepa strip down on stage!
Hated: The lack of eye candy and female distractions for the fellas in attendance.
Drank: Nothing. Just ingested some over-priced wedges.
ANDREW ‘HAZARD’ HICKEY
