The Retreat Hotel’s 12th Birthday
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The Retreat Hotel’s 12th Birthday

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To say the venue’s only 12 years old would be a lie. The Retreat was actually the first hotel in Brunswick. Established in 1842, it initially served as a respite for drivers of stone carrying bullock wagons. So it’s really 173 years old, but Fisher and Clarkewon’t let facts get in the way of a good part. What makes the current Retreat a Brunswick institution? The Retreat never tries to be something it’s not. In the words of the new band booker, Mitch, “Brunswick is getting trendy, but the Retreat just does its thing. It’s a little bit dirty, and a little rough around the edges. It’s not succumbing to the trendiness of the inner north.”

 

And then there’s the free live music, seven days a week. “It’s a place where musicians can hone their skills until they move onto door charge venues,” says Fisher. Due to various reasons beyond his control, such as lower midweek attendances and higher expenses, gone are the days when he “used to pay C.W. Stoneking $50 to walk around and play at people’s tables”.

 

Nevertheless, you can still count on The Retreat to produce the goods. Where there’s music there’s a dance floor and, according to Mitch, The Retreat houses “the Tinder of dance floors”. There’s actually a secret cellar underneath the dance floor that Fisher wants to cover with Perspex and fill with sharks and laser beams. But you know, it’s a work in progress.

 

Now, it’s time for birthday speeches. Though, with The Retreat, it’s not as easy as it seems – either people can’t remember stories due to a pint-induced blur, they’re too ashamed to recount, or the tales aren’t suitable for publishing. But I asked around and here are some memories that can go down on record. Fisher’s proudest moment was the Asian Tsunami benefit gig, raising $25,000 in one day, more than any other pub in Australia. Others include the Brothers Grimm playing for a mate’s funeral, Mick Thomas playing to 220 people in a front bar that’s meant to only fit 150, and the chef wheeling a trolley full of roast chickens from the supermarket in a wetsuit for one of the staff members’ birthdays.

 

Punters talk of New Year’s Eve parties with patrons dressed as spacemen with gigantic arms getting smashed up by the ceiling fans, and a 6 foot 3 transvestite delivering soliloquies in the beer garden.

 

What can we expect on the day of celebration? “A shit load of good bands and drinking lots of beers,” says Mitch. Proceedings will really amp up after the race with superstar DJ Adalita spinning tunes, followed by tequila fuelled sets from Wild Turkey, Bakersfield Glee Club, and the Moreland City Soul Revue. The event will conclude with the rowdy boys from Twin Beasts, ensuring a few sore heads come Wednesday morning.

 

Fisher explains why the pub’s putting in extra effort to mark its birthday. “It’s for us to say thank you to the staff, the locals, and the bands for the support and how awesome it’s been.”

 

BY LEE SPENCER-MICHAELSEN