RAWR!
So this is my cat. I thought you might all like to meet him. He’s a Bengal and his name’s Sirius, after the Gojira record ‘n that. He weighs about 10 kilos and is approximately 14% wild. We can’t let him out of the house or he goes and fucks up all the other neighbourhood cats and comes home spattered in gore. Loves the chicks, though. He turns into such a soft-cock when there’s feline babe around. They’re like his weakness. In a way, he’s the ultimate alpha male but in kitty form. We should all strive to be more like Sirius but maybe less fat.
ARTWORK: METALLICA AND LOU REED COLLAB
So this here is the artwork from Metallica and mental former Velvet Underground mouthpiece Lou Reed ‘s upcoming collaboration. As you can see, it’s called Lulu. That armless mannequin looks upset. Perhaps she got stuck in a room with a coked-up Lars Ulrich and had to listen to him talk about his latest tennis outfit and how good it feels to wear to the shops.
TESSERACT’S NEW VOCALIST ON RECORD
So TesseracT have officially welcome Elliot Coleman on board as their new vocalist, and a lot of their fans are pissed. They were pissed before they even heard anything, because people fear change, Billy. Well now you can make up your mind properly, you know, by actually listening to how Coleman rolls within the studio context of TesseracT’s labyrinthine arrangements. Head over to facebook.com/tesseractband or input ‘TESSERACT – Lowering The Tone UK Tour’ into the IglooRube machine and hear the man in action. Bit of Volta on that warble, methinks.
DJENT GOES POP
According to femme-fronted outfit Destiny Potato it is. Go check out their jams at http://soundcloud.com/davidmaximmicic/dp-demo-preview-sa-sliku and witness the sudden and surprising descent of the djent ‘movement’ into wishy-washy bubblegum irrelevance (bonus vocoder in one bit, too). It’s really odd stuff, like, it just doesn’t make sense to my poor ears with this girl crooning over all that hyper-digital stomp. Who knows, maybe it’ll catch on and some peeps will do it right? Wonder what Misha Mansoor makes of it.
NEW VADER IS INVASIVE
Awwwwww shee-it, we got new Vader out and about. Guess what? You simply must put this inside you. YouTube ‘VADER -Welcome To The Morbid Reich (ALBUM PREVIEW)’ and be treated to exactly that. It is tres brutal. Also Polish.
PITCHFORK OVERRUN BY WOLVES
Pitchfork.com, of all places, are streaming the new Wolves In The Throne Room track, Thuja Magus Imperium. Get over there and hit this 11-minute action up. Then leave immediately lest you turn into a hipster douchebag just by virtue of looking at the Pitchfork site. Those guys love sharpies in the pooper.
LACUNA COIL TO DROP SINGLE
Psyched for Lacuna Coil‘s new record Dark Adrenaline or just keen to ogle Cristina Scabbia‘s ageless Italian good looks? Either or, you should probably hook into the first single they’ll be releasing from this beast. It’s called Trip the Darkness and it’ll be hitting on October 17th.
MEGADETH FAN ARRESTED
Well, you would arrest someone for still liking Megadeth, wouldn’tcha? Not really. That’ll never hold up in court. Threatening to murder a bunch of people will do it, though. An unidentified 44-year old Canadian man has been arrested after logging into HardRockRadioLive’s chatroom during their MeltDown Show metal segment as ‘Watch_The_National_new_tomorrow_I_am_going_to_go_a_shooting_spree_in_Appleton_WI.’ He then proceeded to request the Megadeth track Killing is My Business… And Business is Good, before adding: “good music to go postal & kill a bunce of people to.”
The show’s hosts contacted Appleton Police Department, who backtraced this idiot’s IP address and picked him up at a public library.
THE CONTORTIONIST HEAD TO AUS
If you aren’t a useless dickhead, you’ll have heard The Contortionist‘s debut record, Exoplanet. Easily one of the best djenty efforts to hit this year, this lot of Meshuggah-loving maniacs have keyed in some Aussie tour dates. I highly recommend you go and see them if you dig this kind of gear. They’ll be tearing Next nightclub a new corn-shute on November 17th.
SKINDRED RED-EYE IT DOWNUNDER
Everyone’s coming to Austraya right now. Why not? We’re lovely. Skindred obviously thinks too, because these British reggae-muffin metallers will be hitting The Espy on September 27th for a night of one-drop deadliness. I don’t need to tell you that harping on the end of a chubby spliff mid-show is mandatory. I am advocating drug use in a public forum. Yes.
STAMP YA HAND
Sydney-based miscreants Recoil V.O.R are heading over to Melburn to kick off their last run of shows for the year. Fresh off the back of enviable supports with The Haunted and (HED)p.e (well, maybe not that enviable), they’ll be trying to change your mind about Sydney metal this Thursday night at The Prague. Moustache Ant will be kicking shit off at 8:30pm with Freight Train Theory following, the Recoil kids in the middle there, and Arbia closing down.
FEEDBACK
dude, was that REALLY you surfing ?
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James
Jist testin’ out mah water-resistance corpsepaint on the froth. I’m not COMIN’ back in.
~tobes
