Chicken cutlets and time bombs: Julie Kim shares some of her worst dates

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Chicken cutlets and time bombs: Julie Kim shares some of her worst dates

Julie Kim

“This festival is like our first date with Australia, and I hope we can be friends with benefits for a long time."

Known for her highly energetic, witty, and relentlessly paced stand-up, Julie Kim is debuting No One Special in Melbourne. A new hour of slightly exaggerated, biographical stand-up, catch the show from April 11 to 23 at the Greek Centre.

Keep up with the latest music news, festivals, interviews and reviews here.

Sharing her experiences of being in an interracial marriage, parenting, and her own childhood in No One Special,

Julie Kim shares her three worst relationship stories exclusively with Beat:

1 – Time Bomb

“For a few weeks I dated a guy who would always fart – the worst and loudest stinkers. I hated it. But one night I really had to fart and I didn’t want to be a hypocrite and fart when I always told him not to fart.

“So I held it in, but the next time he did a big fart, I took the opportunity to also fart (effectively hiding my fart in his fart). He sniffed the air, made a face of disgust and took credit for the worst fart he’d ever done.”

2 – Chicken Cutlet

“Many years ago I went out drinking and dancing with friends and we all went to this guy’s place for… the after party, wink wink. I had a bra that came with liquid gel inserts.

“Although I was tipsy (ok I had tipped over multiple times) I had the presence of mind to wait until he turned around to quickly remove the inserts – I called them chicken cutlets – and throw them across the dark room so he wouldn’t find out that my bra weighed 12 pounds and that the boobs he had seen were mostly … not me

“My friend called me from the other room and I had to take off quickly and in my hurry I forgot the gel inserts. My friends and I still laugh, thinking about what it must have been like for him to find them in the daylight the next day. He probably had no idea what they were.

“I hope he didn’t eat them.”

3 – Wing Sister

“I was at a bar and this guy came up and started talking to me. I wasn’t interested and while I was nice enough, I wanted it to stop. When a girl approached the bar a few minutes later I whispered to her: ‘can you please pretend to be my friend and talk to me so this guy will go away?’. Then she said: ‘uh… that’s my brother.'”

Partnering with Mitsubishi Motors, audiences can select tickets to see Julie Kim at the discounted price of $20, with the company paying an extra $10 to the artist for each ticket sold.

Catch the show at the Greek Centre from April 11 to 23. Grab tickets by heading here

This article was made in partnership with BeeHive PR