The first time it’s made clear that this interview isn’t going to be winning any prizes for investigative journalism comes about 13 minutes in when vocalist Ron Hitler-Barassi decides to ask why I’ve not yet asked a single question.
The reason why is the same as the subject matter: TISM.
It’s been proven numerous times over the last 40 years that anyone who attempts to interview TISM is embarking upon a fool’s errand. I’ve tried twice previously and been forced to submit condensed transcripts of maniacal ramblings.
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This time, it’s a simple list of questions that revolve around their first new album in 20 years, Death To Art, and their upcoming national run of shows featuring the likes of Machine Gun Fellatio on the bill.
In true TISM fashion, however, Hitler-Barassi and bandmate Humphrey B. Flaubert were not going to make this an easy undertaking.
“I would like to start off with an acknowledgement of the traditional owners of the land upon which we conduct this interview,” he begins. “Which, in Humphrey and my cases, is Prince Mohammed bin Salman, the owner of TISM and also the owner of the land upon which we speak.
“I’d also like to acknowledge for your readers,” he continues. “The land upon which they are reading is probably land of semi-racist, white grievance fucksticks – 65 fucking per cent of them who voted ‘no’ in the referendum. So to the 65% of you people out there; fuck you.”
The alienation of their audience won’t be letting up soon. Before another question is asked, however, Hitler-Barassi breathlessly shifts his focus to my previous coverage of TISM, claiming “a touch of the Ernest Hemingway” is present, and suggesting this interview should be titled The Old Man And The C Word.
“When I read that piece, I could see the cafes of 1920s Paris, which I assume that the offices of Beat Magazine closely resemble,” he muses.
Another attempt to ask a question is thwarted by a reference to the Dead Kennedys’ hard-to-find single Holiday In Boronia before Flaubert picks up the thread to talk about Hemingway, and – ostensibly – filmmaker Ken Burns.
“Ken Burns – who wrote about your work – was a forward for Birmingham City,” Flaubert helpfully informs. “Brian Clough rescued Kenny Burns and made him a centre half and it was really the making of the player, much in the same vein as PJ Harvey, who operated mainly as a wingback.
“PJ stands for ‘pejorative’ – Pejorative Harvey – and she was transformed when she was put into the midfield by Himmler, the manager of Berlin FC…”
Much like Kenny Burns, now was my time to strike with my first question. Perhaps we could focus on the fact that Death To Art is the band’s first new album in 20 years, their first since their 2022 reformation, and the first chance fans have to hear their view of the current world. But what do they say to fans who might have expected more content related to climate science, equality, or ‘wokeism’?
“That’s a shit question, Tyler,” Hitler-Barassi asserts. “Here we are comparing you to Hemingway, and there’s this verbose piece of fucking crap that’s got 15 clauses in it.”
“Could you convert that to Hemingway? It just needs to go, ‘TISM. New. Back. Creased with worry, their foreheads. And the fish escaped.’”
Perhaps we should move on again? Hitler-Barassi reminds me that he’s got a roast chicken in the oven so we can’t spend too long meandering on the topic of Hemingway. What about the messaging on the band’s album?
Since the final song on 2004’s The White Album claimed in its title that ‘TISM Are Shit’, it’s been the official branding among fans. Now, the opening song on their new album states, “Everything is shit, except for TISM (who are shit )”. The shifting of goalposts is put to him, but the band aren’t too happy with the press who happen to overlook those final three words.
“Mohammed bin Salman’s factotum has chastised me for my inefficient use of language,” Flaubert notes. “This album is called Death To Art and people think that means our position is that art should be destroyed, should be killed, and that wasn’t the idea at all.”
“Humphrey, those words at the end, ‘who are shit’, seem to be completely beyond the comprehension of the journalists who talk about that phrase,” Hitler-Barassi adds. “I mean, I would have thought of all people, the three-word ‘who are shit’ phrase – redolent by the way, of the end of Hemingway’s For Whom The Bell Tolls – isn’t all that complex.”
Given that 20 years ago TISM opened the release of their Best Off compilation with a debate arguing ‘TISM is art’, does this new album, Death To Art, indicate the death of TISM themselves?
Will this upcoming tour be the final time we get to see TISM performing live? How on Earth did such an eclectic lineup (which features Machine Gun Fellatio, Ben Lee, and The Mavis’s) come together?
These are all great questions that an accomplished journalist should put forth to the band. I just don’t envy their chances.
Catch TISM at the Sidney Myer Music Bowl on November 9. Get your tickets here.