“We met a legitimate bearded woman on tour in Europe recently,” explains John Beardman, Jr., the band’s drummer. “It was in London, and it was this Sikh woman who had grown a full and healthy beard. We invited her to our show, and she told us that she loved it. It was a real step forward for our band – we want to make it clear that every person with a beard is very welcome at our shows.”
It’s understandable to be curious about how the band handles their crowds now, who’ve expanded exponentially to the point of being an internationally-regarded phenomenon. How does the band deal with the bearded/non-bearded ratio at their shows? Should extreme measures be taken – perhaps a policy of ‘No beard = no entry’? “When we were first starting out, we used to let people with beards in for free and we wouldn’t let anyone in that didn’t have one,” says Beardman. “There came a point where we had to stop doing that, though – we came to the conclusion that we wanted to reach a broader audience. We realised that not only were we on financially unstable ground, we were preaching to the converted. People without beards needed to hear our songs more than anyone else did. It was at that point we reached a compromise. We now allow people with beards to come to our shows, but they have to stand up the back and face the other way. If any of us catch a glimpse of a beardless man, it throws us completely off our game.”
Released in May last year, The Beard Album has been the band’s most successful record to date. It’s also their most bearded – quite literally, too. The entire album casing is covered in a beard, and the disc which contains the album is brimming with songs about beards – legendary beards, sexy beards, unemployed beards and even married beards. Exactly where does one go from there in terms of making something even beardier?
“A lot of people would think that after The Beard Album – and, indeed, after four albums about beards – that there was nothing left to say on the matter,” says Beardman dismissively. “For the record, I’d like to clarify that it couldn’t be further from the truth. I don’t think we’ve even begun to scratch the surface on how we feel about beards, really. We need a moment to ourselves to really get down to the heart of the matter. We’re about to go on tour one last time for this album, then we’re heading back over to Europe to do a few festivals. Once we’ve finished all that, we’re going to sit down and talk about beards, which will lead to writing about beards which will once again lead to singing about beards. The inspiration will flow from our faces, as majestically as a beard itself.”
Forming on a whim in 2005 after all turning up to band practice in their previous band with beards, no-one could have expected that The Beards – completed by vocalist/saxophonist/keytarist Johann Beardraven, guitarist Facey McStubblington and bassist Nathaniel Beard – would’ve evolved into the sensation you see before you today. It’s something that’s not lost on Beardman, who’s seen a lot of positive change in the world of facial hair in the land he calls home across the ten years The Beards have been active.
“Ten years ago, Australia was a very different place for bearded men,” he explains. “A classic example is Woolworths – I once worked there and I’m not ashamed to admit it. When I was working there, it was against their policy to have a beard, so I couldn’t grow one. I went to my local Woolworths just yesterday, and the guy that served me in the deli had a massive beard. I was so proud. Society has come so far from a bearded perspective; it truly is an inspiration to us all.”
A national tour is coming up with party-starters The Stiffys, taking the band across the better part of the country once more before they head back over the pond to please their global beard-loving audience. Life is good for The Beards – better than it ever has been. Beardman is more than aware of this fact, and traces the reason behind it right back to where it all begins – his face, where his beard is. “The bigger that my beard has gotten, the better my life has gotten,” he testifies. “Before I had a beard, I was nothing – I wasn’t in a band and I was working a dead-end job. Look at me now. Now, I have a beard and… Well, I don’t have a job. I probably need the money, now that I think about it.”
BY DAVID JAMES YOUNG
