I understand most of you are reading this for a review of Summadayze. Instead I offer you a chronology of the events that transpired prior to that time I ended up onstage with M.I.A. Being of Middle Eastern ancestry, it is of no surprise that I cherished and admired Bad Girls. M.I.A. is one of those rare artists that know how to work with what she’s got and do so with powerful and evoking substance. She quickly became my muse. Upon learning of her headline act at Summadayze I vied over a review spot. I got it. The gap between M.I.A. and I was partly bridged.
Upon arriving at Sidney Myer Music Bowl, I was greeted with beautiful weather and drunk muzzas rightfully outfitted in running shorts, bum bags and shirtlessness. First stop was the main stage where Kimbra soon delighted the relatively small audience with her streamer-inspired skirt, blue wig shoulder pads and aggressive femininity. Tinier than I thought, it was difficult to hear her strong voice on account of the sound issues. The band’s music was overpowering, which is never bad provided that the mic volumes are consistent with the instrumentals, which was not the case. Nevertheless, right in the pit I had no problem hearing her and the energetic performance was a great start to the day.
Up next was Adrian Lux in the Electrodayze area. There were many more people here providing for a good party atmosphere. Occasionally, when people got too excited and did things like getting up on friends’ shoulders, security were there to destroy all fun. Swinging by Housedayze to catch some of Disclosure’s set I was surprised to see how shy the brothers were onstage. Starting off with Control the crowd definitely seemed to gravitate towards the auxiliary stages as opposed to the main one, where Kimbra had been.
Ticking towards 3pm the crowd was growing denser, and increasingly messier. I also suspect there was once a time when you could go to a festival without having an abundance of titties and butt cheeks shoved in your face. At the main stage everyone was awaiting Mark Ronson. When he stepped out, he seemed pretty unenthused. His set was spiced up by guest performances from Spank Rock, Andrew Wyatt of Miike Snow and Melbourne’s very own Daniel Merriweather. Shifting from Sean Paul to Q-Tip to Jay-Z, Ronson employed multilayered bells, horns and synths to his mixes.
Back at Housedayze, Hudson Mohawke was pounding an infectious and throbbing beat. After M.I.A., he was the standout. The electronic producer and DJ is signed to label-pushing Warp Records. You had the perfect concoction for a good time. Slashing synths and fast BPMs with the grinding and industrial feel of lo-fi and hi-fi timbres all complimented with a punching bass. Higher Ground had everyone losing their shit. Fedde Le Grand and Knife Party next graced the main stage. Now it was M.I.A.’s time.
The stage was set up with lavish and bright textures and small tents. In the pit I was ready to get as close as humanely possible to her. Stepping on stage in a flowing green turban laced with a gold band, a dead president jumper, multicoloured pants and bright yellow kicks, it was clear no one rocks Raghead like M.I.A. She had three back up dancers, one of which was the main dude from the Born Free clip. Effortlessly cool, she casually walked to the stage. Experiencing similar mic problems to Kimbra, she swore under her breath a few times and called to have them rectified (to no avail [fuck]). Even when she stepped back to touch up her lipstick she oozed cool. It was after Bucky Done Gun that my world changed forever. Calling for people to get onstage, my friend and I exchanged looks of shock and joy before flooding towards the side stage. What ensued to be a stampede, it was very fortunate no one fell over, because they literally would have been crushed. Just as we made it the security were saying no more.
Pleading with them, one security guard nodded and I began to hoist myself up. My friend was already on stage when another security guard grabbed my leg and tried to pull me back. When life gives you lemons you kick security the fuck off you and get onstage with M.I.A., which is precisely what I did. Spazzing out on stage I got close enough to tell her I love her and act like I was the shit for a whole of two minutes. Eventually, I had to make my departure off stage, but the performance wasn’t done until she closed with Bad Girls. Playing the brilliant clip on the screen behind her the audience went wild, despite the bad sound. And just like that, all good things had to come to an end. She thanked Melbourne, turned and left.
Nothing could live up to M.I.A. Not even The Chemical Brothers. The stage had been pimped out for them, but the epilepsy inducing lights they incorporated into their set were enough to leave me dizzy and nauseated. Weaving my way out of the crowd, and towards the city, it was fair to conclude that 2013 was gonna be my year.
BY TAMARA VOGL
LOVED: Being within a one-metre radius of M.I.A.
HATED: That I didn’t get to befriend her and suggest I join her entourage.
DRANK: Water. Water. And more water.
