So yeah, the ultra-proliferous novel Fifty Shades Of Grey – or as I like to refer to it, ‘American Psycho from the hooker’s perspective’ – has been turned into a movie. And like all major franchise films, it needed a soundtrack that will, in turn, be uploaded onto the iPods of the beige individuals that find fictionalised sexual brutality invigorating and exciting. Before we talk about the music featured on the soundtrack, I should explain my major beef with Fifty Shades. While offering a fly-on-the-wall perspective to ultra-violent sexual gratification, the book lacks the same sense of otherworldly humour that the aforementioned Easton-Ellis masterpiece contained, to remind us that hardcore sexual violence is not okay unless used as an allegory for ruthless corruptive powers of capitalism.
Musically, the soundtrack has two highlights: the two songs from Canadian R&B artist The Weeknd. That includes this album’s feature single Worth It and the suitably dark and brooding Where You Belong. Music fans with taste and a high-speed Internet connection have been jizzing themselves over The Weeknd since 2011 when, as a 21 year old, he (Canadian Abel Tesfaye) made the House Of Balloons mixtape available for free download. It’s awesome that a soundtrack for a hyper-mainstream film is highlighting this super credible and deserving artist.
Now it’s time for a home truth about this soundtrack. Once you get past the sublime grit of The Weeknd, the remaining 14 songs are about as mediocre and dull as the shitty low level admin jobs that most of the people who are going to see this movie have. For instance, Frank Sinatra’s Witchcraft is not a bad song and its lyrical content is apt, but you can tell ol’ blue eyes was included to add a veneer of sophistication to the soundtrack, rather than any real tribute to the swing era.
Eurhythmics’ Annie Lennox appears to be aging profitably with her by the number’s rendition of Screamin’ Jay Hawkins Put A Spell On You. And then there’s Ellie Goulding’s super shite Love Me Like You Do – if you just asked ‘who the fuck is Ellie Goulding?’ – good, I like you.
The lone star I gave for this review is for the two The Weeknd songs – that is all.
BY DENVER MAXX
