Toxic masculinity is the idea that males can only exist within their prescribed gender role and its associated traits – men are “strong”, they’re not victims, boys don’t cry, etc. These adages of what it means to “be a man” emotional short-change our boys, to the point where being a normal, emotional human being is considered emasculating. Dan Pavatich’s newest production Big Strong Boy, will unravel these maxims and reveal how to actually be a man (spoiler: be human).
“The idea that anyone should be anything other than who they are is fundamentally flawed,” asserts the former IT specialist, turned comedian. “For me, these examples [of ‘be a man’ or ‘be a big strong boy’] all seem to suggest that you’re not allowed to express how you feel, and that cannot be healthy,” and he’s right.
It’s a discourse that is suffusing our culture, forcing us to reconsider the way we treat our boys, from Buzzfeed’s harrowing piece about male sexual assault, Toxic Masculinity Is Harmful To All Of Us; to articles about Santa Barbara murderer Elliot Rodger and his deleterious perceptions of manhood; and former Victorian Police Commissioner, Ken Lay, acknowledging that the way we raise boys, in reference to gender, is harmful to everyone.
“The hardest one was getting comfortable with sharing some personal details about my life and family,” writes Pavatich, detailing the challenges he faced creating Big Strong Boy. “I had to have a lot of conversations with my family about things that had happened to us. The challenging part was that we’re a family that doesn’t really talk about our experiences or issues to each other. So breaking that habit with the family was really challenging, but ultimately it has led to some really beautiful moments with my family, and I know more about my family, and have got to know my father better as a result.”
Big Strong Boy will be Pavatich’s second solo production – Please Stay debuted at Melbourne International Comedy Festival earlier this year – and it’ll be heavily autobiographical, dealing with trials of family bankruptcy, an absent love life and a dissatisfying career with compassion and wit.
“I was earning six figures working for one of the top four IT consultancies in the world. I had a team of 200 people across Australia and India. I was successful, but incredibly unhappy. I mean crying into your cufflinks sad,” jokes Pavatich. “I decided to take an improv class and fell in love with it. After about a year of classes I decided that the only thing that was making me happy was Improvisation…so I quit and went to Chicago. [There] I trained with iO Chicago and many great teachers. A man I owe my life to who passed away recently was Jason Chin, he showed me what we can achieve with comedy, that we can say big things, and when we do that’s when comedy becomes art. He also told me that to find that we have to be prepared to be honest, and that’s hard, but that’s how people get to know us. After that I was committed to be a comedian. It is a humanitarian pursuit.”
BY AVRILLE BYLOK-COLLARD
Venue: The Improv Conspiracy, 19 Meyers Pl, CBD
Dates: September 18 – September 25 (except Monday)
Time: 8pm (Sunday 7pm)
Tickets: $12 – $16
