Sorry about that, I get a little funny when I think of babies. I mean, they do so many silly things such as make crazy facial expressions, fall over, poo and cry. Sometimes all of the above at once! Now that’s what cinema should be all about.
Never has a film been more appropriately named than Thomas Balmes’ new doco Babies. That’s all it is. Four babies from around the world doing cute shit. For ninety minutes. It follows the first year in the lives of Ponijao in Namibia, Mari in Tokyo, Bayar in Mongolia and Hattie in San Francisco, from the womb to graphically disturbing birth to their first triumphant steps. The film is an endless* montage of these little cuties doing cute shit, like trying to walk and failing, breast feeding, smiling, giggling, crying, and generally struggling at life.
I was awwwing, ahhhing, smiling and giggling along with the rest of the audience (comprised mainly of single and/or menopausal women). During the montage of “babies + cats = lol” I lost my shit. Babies are so confused all the time, it’s hilarious. They seriously have no fucking idea what’s going on. I mean how confused would you be if you’re a baby, you can’t even form thoughts properly and suddenly there’s a llama drinking out of your bathing tin (damn Mongolians).
On a slightly serious note, the film is actually pretty good. Visually, it’s absolutely stunning. The lack of subtitles, commentary and dialogue work to bring the audience into the babies’ world of play, learning and as I’ve mentioned, confusion. People may claim it lacks social commentary or depth, but I think its strength lies in its simplicity. It’s not trying to make a statement on the inequalities between the developed and underdeveloped worlds, it just is what it is, a bunch of babies hanging out and doing the kind of shit babies do. Nor does the film make direct commentary on the impact of diverse upbringings of the babies (although it does seem to poke fun at the San Francisco family’s new age approach). Instead of focusing on the obvious differences between the four countries, the film celebrates the love and humanity that they share.
If you’re a guy, looking to take a girl out on a date, this movie is for you. You will score points straight off the bat by showing your sensitive side, and hopefully after the film, your date will be so baby crazy, she’ll probably want to fuck in an attempt to make one herself. It didn’t work for me, but hey, it was worth a shot.
There. I challenge anyone to find another review of Babies which has the word fuck in it so many fucking times.
