Asking a potential partner if they’ve been tested recently has taken on a whole new meaning.
Dating apps on smartphones completely changed the way we date, is coronavirus about to do the same thing?
At the turn of the 20th century, a young woman would meet several eligible bachelors, and with the help of her parents, choose her suitor. Then they’d begin a courtship. Courting was a very private activity, and not necessarily strictly emotional. It was the gateway between meeting someone, deciding if they might be the kind of person you want to marry, and slowly beginning an intimate relationship.
It took decades for the process of finding love to move from being about social expectations to a quest for personal pleasure. In the ’50s, dating became a staple of youth culture – “going steady” – and sexuality became a less private concept. Then came the era of free love, where dating lost its rules and hook-up culture was created.
In 1992, the idea to take matchmaking services out of the paper and onto the internet was conceived and the world of finding love started to change. When Tinder became widely available as a smartphone app in 2013, the change was drastic. If the free love era had no rules, then the dating app era doesn’t even know rules ever existed. Your next date is only a swipe away; “going steady” has been replaced with one-night stands, friends with benefits and a distinct lack of exclusivity.
In 2019, you could choose to date whoever and however you wanted to. In 2020, coronavirus hit. How do you navigate dating amidst a global health crisis? How do you hook up from one-and-a-half metres away? And will this lead the way for a modern-day version of courtship?
In the modern dating world – where it’s not uncommon to have had more than one sexual partner – concern for spreading disease is already there. But coronavirus can’t be simply avoided with a bit of latex – recommendations on avoiding the virus are constantly changing. The most obvious include not touching your – or anyone else’s – face, and to wash your hands often and properly. Is intensely washing your hands for two minutes with someone really the most exciting icebreaker you can think of?
The government is banning non-essential gatherings of more than 100 people and health professionals are even suggesting a one person per four-square-metre limit for all non-essential venues. So what are your dating options? Which eight square metres are you and your date going to occupy at your favourite bar? Maybe it’s time to take things home… but not like that. Coronavirus might just be the thing to usher in a new way of dating – an extended period of getting to know someone before officially meeting.
In 2020, you’re not wasting time on a potential subpar date. You want to know you’re in for a good time before you put effort into leaving the house. There are so many ways to get to know someone without meeting in person. First things first, get off the apps and onto something else. Follow each other on socials so you can get a good idea of who they are outside of their dating profile. This will allow you both to interact with one another in a different, more personable way.
Take your relationship style back to your teenage years and give your date a call. Only this time you probably won’t have to worry about lugging the two-metre-long landline cord across the house. You can FaceTime or send photos and videos of yourself to your date – keep it consensual – so they can see what you look like on any given day, not just from the well-lit, meticulously-selected photos on your dating profile.
Coronavirus should be the major disruption we need to shock the world of dating back into something productive, worthwhile, and respectful. It will force you to ask yourself, ‘If I can’t be bothered getting to know the person I want to date, should I really be dating them?’.
Self-isolation doesn’t have to be emotionally isolating. Coronavirus is going to cause our lives to be significantly different for quite sometime, but hopefully, you can find something positive in the experience – as long as that positive isn’t coming back on a coronavirus test kit.
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