Four friends, 20 years, countless songs: The Melbourne music tradition that survived decades of dinner party disagreements.
There is no shortage of Melbourne music lovers, but this family takes things to a new level with a curated, rule-bending, and decades-long theme night.
There had already been over a decade of friendship between Sue, David C (DC), Jeanette and David T (DT), after Sue and Jeanette had met in January ‘91 at the primary school where they both taught. A love of music, owning the same hairdryer, and the fact their husbands were both named David secured their bond.
Cut to 2004, the four Melbourne pals were still hanging out, now with three primary school-aged children in the mix too. At some stage, over one of their many dinners together, a question was asked:
‘What are your top five favourite songs?’
Melbourne music-lovers, this would be a question that haunted the group for the next 20+ years.
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A few months later, the gang gathered at a campground in Merimbula, a favourite holiday spot for the young families, and presented their first-ever Top 5. They sat around a camp table and, on CDs and cassette tapes, they presented their favourite songs ever, speaking about why they chose each track before it played.
With no parameters or rules, the four approaches could not have been more different.
Sue, burdened by the weight of such a decision, narrowed it down to one song from each decade she’d lived. DT formulated his around his favourite artists, Jeanette’s choices shone a spotlight on the music she grew up with, and DC planned his out as if it was a concert, which, after including The End by The Doors (running time – 11:44), resulted in a strict time limit rule going forward.
These Melbourne nights have become a cornerstone in my family, happening every year or two. They’ve done Top 5 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s and 00s; Songs From Musicals; Songs From Movies; Duets; Covers That Are Better Than The Original…and many more.
As Sue and David’s only child, I have been a constant soundboard for their Top 5 decisions, sworn to secrecy by each side. I would argue that these quasi-competitive music nights are part of what nurtured my love for music, of all genres across all decades.
Since the inaugural Top 5, the nights have become more elaborate. Rules have been made and enforced, tears have been shed (once), dance parties had (many), wine consumed (litres: unknown), and the kids have even been allowed to participate (twice).
This is the story of my parents and their best friends.
Melbourne, we listen and we don’t judge: The Rules Committee
As most things with copious amounts of alcohol go, the first Top 5 night ended in tears.
A random hat draw has always decided the playing order to make it fair; as often, for myriad reasons, you can’t quite remember the five songs the last person chose…
Sue was the unlucky fourth draw on Music Night One. When she got to her last song, Affirmation by Savage Garden, David T let out some colourful language about how he really felt about this song. My mother, not particularly known for her sensitivity, burst into tears, and you know you’ve messed up when you make Sue cry.
Thus, the first rule of the music nights was born: “We listen and we don’t judge”.
But as anything goes when 3/4 of the group are educators, the rules didn’t stop there. Sue and DT, amends made, appointed themselves the head of the Rules Committee, as there were many abstract themes they needed a core understanding of. Over the years, discussing the rules became as important as the night itself, getting into the nitty gritty over long dinners, arguing at length prior to 70s night about if Evie (Part I, II & III) were three songs or one song (the jury was hung, they ended up introducing the night by paying all three parts as an ‘intro song’). For 80s night, they introduced a ‘Top 1 Worst Song’ alongside their Top 4 favourites, and they created a strong distinction between musicals, where the song had to be written for the stage, and movies, which was more about the moment the song supported in the film.
This also led to the creation of their Spicks and Specks variety night. About 15 years into Top 5, they decided they had enough in the archives to make a game show out of previous years’ selections. They each hosted a round, incorporating classic games from the show and all the answers were songs they had selected in the past.
Connecting the generations
Fast forward some years, and in place of CDs and cassettes, the Melbourne friends graduated to the iPod and speaker, buying music from the iTunes store and creating playlists. It was Top 5 Australian, and after months of arguing about what constitutes an Aussie artist (The Committee ruled that most of the band had to be born in Australia – Crowded House did qualify), the night was upon us.
During these nights, us kids would make our own fun, sliding down the hallway in our socks, creating obstacle courses in the lounge room, or seeing who could make each other laugh the hardest, soundtracked by Build Me Up Buttercup (Top 5 60s), Stan (Top 5 Songs That Tell A Story), or I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing (Top 5 Songs From Movies – see: Blades of Glory).
Toward the end of Top 5 Aussie night, we received a summons into the living room. DT was introducing his next song, and it was important we were there. Then, we heard the unmistakable tambourine and bass riff of Are You Gonna Be My Girl by Jet. All seven of us were on our feet, some of us on the chairs, as we danced through the whole song. One of many core memories was created that night.
30 years and more in Melbourne…
From CDs and cassette tapes, through the iTunes days, using Youtube for the Musical and Movie nights, to the age of Spotify subscriptions and bluetooth connectivity, the Top 5 nights have seen almost every period of music.
The old ‘names out of a hat’ technique is now a random name spinner on an iPad. Through 30 years of friendship, and 20 years of Top 5, there’s been many life changes. Grief for loved ones lost over the years, differing political views at times, and an entire global pandemic (during which we all got on Zoom and did our Top 2 ‘Pandemic Feelings’ songs – I submitted Is Everybody Going Crazy by Nothing but Thieves).
Melbourne, and Australia, is in a totally new world now from when the Top 5 started, but the friendship between these four has outlasted. This story is a decent argument for music bringing people together, but I think it’s most importantly about continuing to put in effort with your friends, creating things together that make you happy, and nurturing connection.
It’s a story about caring. I love them, and I’ll finally admit, I think they’re pretty cool.
The Melbourne crew is going to Europe together next year. They haven’t planned the trip yet, but they’ll be presenting their Top 5 Love Songs… in Paris.
