10. Taking off your shoes. This one can be achieved on all nearly all forms of transport. Instant relaxation, improved REM sleep and if you’ve got an annoying neighbour you can always break out the foot cheese to secure a little more leg room.
9. Headphones can prevent a mental break down and are handy for all modes of transport. There is nothing more sobering than a baby crying on a plane, people talking incessantly about Game Of Thrones in a van or the prospect of no ciggies or beers on a train. Plug in your headphones, pick a favourite tune and ignore the stark, bleak reality that the post-party travel day can bring.
8. Rolling stuff. Not everyone is hip to you smoking weed or ciggies or whatever inside a van, train or plane, but this doesn’t mean you can’t be prepared. It means be prepared to kill time and roll up some f’n joints. The van is a mental spot to hone the art of twisting up the five finger death joint, the cross bow, the tulip, the reach around. Which brings us to getting stoned.
7. Getting stoned. Weed was built for travelling at high speed inside confined spaces. If you combine getting stoned with taking off your shoes, wearing headphones and playing the latest trendy music, you have yourself a little disco for one. Edibles are extremely handy in transit, it’s way easier to embrace allocated seating when you are unable to move.
6. Trying to read a book. Most literature is easily conquered on the first day of tour, before the first hangover. After that, trying to read a book seems to take forever, induces motion sickness and makes you feel like you’re becoming dumber. That being said, if you’re one of the lucky ones that can push through the duress, books are a sweet way to kill time and ignore reality.
5. Waiting to use the bathroom. Coffees, Cokes, waters, beers and more beers are all rad, but at some point they need to change form and be returned to the toilet. Needing to use the bathroom can be a meditation, it can take you outside yourself into another dimension, it can provide entertainment to fellow band members. Pissing in a bottle can help break up the waiting game, this is usually reserved for the van as it can be frowned upon on planes and trains.
4. Meditation. Similar to the trying to read a book, most meditation is easily achieved on the first day of travelling on tour when the mind is supple and fresh. After the first day of trying to meditate, it’s far easier to try and medicate to achieve inner peace.
3. Start a conversation with a stranger. This sometimes can’t be avoided, especially on the plane or a train. In a good situation the person next to you owns a brewery or a winery or even a pharmacy and invites you to a private tasting/party. They might even grow a little weed. If the stranger is a bad person (not chilled), you can always take off your shoes, apply headphones and/or try to read a book.
2. Stopping to see local tourist attractions. In a country as vast as Australia there is absolutely no shortage of shit to see or look forward to seeing. Here’s a few time killers that also have bathrooms and are hugely entertaining: the Giant Koala, the Big Banana, the submarine that’s out of the water, the Giant Earthworm, the Big Pineapple, the Big Lobster, the Big Lamb.
1. Continue partying. No need to flex the brain on this one. In fact, the less you analyse this technique the more successful it will be.
