As we settle into our seats, we clock a sign that reads: “This is a brand new show. Please be gentle.”
When the “dykes” in the audience (who holler on command) are encouraged to brandish their carabiners, Scout’s delighted to discover “matching butch” – an identical keyring – on a front row punter’s carabiner, which is confiscated to wear alongside their own. Scout even swings both carabiners around simultaneously at one point, like nipple tassels (but attached to belt loops).
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Scout’s lived experience – developing a tolerance to 7kg weighted blankets, admitting history makes them “horny” – forms the basis of Turbo Lover and their silliness knows no bounds. We also learn that Scout – who boasts an “insane” typing speed and was born with a collapsed muscle in their thumb, which apparently comes in handy on the space bar – was a court transcriptionist for five years. Their first-ever case? A guy who tried to hold up a regional Club X with “an un-serrated butter knife”.
A Canva-recreated Tinder chat, which led to Scout’s ongoing suspension for breaching the dating app’s community guidelines, defies belief and many punchlines are enhanced by their PowerPoint slides. But Scout also engages directly with their audience, fearlessly milking spontaneous digressions; if it falls flat, they simply clear the energy in the room with a sudden air horn blast (also funny). Elsewhere, Scout spouts off about polyamory, ChatGTP, Jehovah’s Witnesses and Bob Katter’s rant about same sex marriage/crocodile attacks.
Sidenote: We’re obsessed with the fact that Scout’s parents met at a treasury interdepartmental mixed doubles ping pong championship in 1993.
Pre-show music: As The White Lotus theme plays out, Scout enters the stage space and shushes our applause before ‘singing’ along; it’s kinda more like a turkey gobbling (you’ll get it if you’ve heard the track).
Audience participation: Yes! Beware of the hypnotic mood-shifting sample, which Scout triggers before scoping the audience in search of ‘victims’ to put on the spot with questions such as, “How did your parents meet?”
Best bit: Scout’s impression of officemate Marie’s reaction when clocking their homegrown “legionnaires cap” – cultivated during lockdown – for the first time after returning to the office.
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