Asking what German techno group Scooter are singing about is a bit like asking what Jackson Pollock was painting pictures of.
Trying to rationalise the band’s absurdist lyrics will only lead to frustration. Like religious mystics, Scooter fans know to crack their glowsticks and let the music carry them along, without getting hung up on literalist readings of the text.
“Some music is like noise: you don’t notice,” says frontman H.P. Baxxter. “Sometimes, you feel it somehow. With trance and techno music, there’s something I really feel. It’s not only entertainment.”
“I want you back, so clean up the dish / By the way, how much is the fish?” asks Baxxter in ‘How Much Is the Fish?’, a song that, for one reason or another, became an anthem for the beads-and-blacklights set in the ‘90s. When Jimmy Fallon added the song to his “do not play” list, ranting – and raving – over its perplexing lyrics, Baxxter took to Youtube helpfully to inform Fallon that the fish had cost around 3.80 Deutsche Marks.
“There isn’t a single Scooter song where the lyrics make any kind of sense,” writes one YouTuber in response to Fallon. “But techno fans don’t really give a crap, he has sick beats and drops.”
You may as well complain about the surreal loopiness of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, a show from which Baxxter draws influence. Like Monty Python’s chicken-wielding knight, Scooter’s music can’t be enjoyed and rationalised at the same time. The 2017 album, Scooter Forever includes a hardstyle cover of ‘Always Look on the Bright Side of Life’ from Monty Python’s Life of Brian.
“I like the melody: it’s funny and it’s positive, and it’s a good remembrance of my youth,” Baxxter says. “When I was 18, I saw all the movies. This kind of humour always brings tears to my eyes from laughing.”
Baxxter refutes the story that he studied accountancy in Munich during his youth, but dropped out after one day. True to form, he seems to find the misinformation, currently stated as fact, on his Wikipedia page more amusing than bothersome.
“‘One day,’” Baxxter exclaims. “I was studying law for one year in Hanover. This is a rumour that sometimes goes, but it’s funny.”
Five hundred weeks on the singles charts, 80 gold and platinum records, and 30 million albums sold: summed up in numbers, Scooter are among the most prolific German musicians since Wagner. The band are currently gearing up for a pan-Australian tour, their first trip Down Under since 2007.
“It’s the first time we’ve really performed live in Australia,” Baxxter says. “Last time, it was more like a DJ set. Because of the circumstances we couldn’t bring it all over, but this time we managed to come over with our technicians and all the stuff we need. How can I describe it? It should be wild and wicked.”
Baxxter is looking forward to visiting Australia’s zoos and seeing the Sydney skyline once more, and hopes to visit the South Australian town of Hahndorf, recognised for its German cuisine and rustic, Bavarian-style post-and-beam architecture.
“We really enjoyed the trip in those days, and I’m happy that it’s going to happen again now,” Baxxter says. “Everything was so different when you’re used to how it is in Europe – like when you have a flight for a couple of hours, but you are still in the same country.”
Scooter’s current tour will combine ‘90s and millennial hits like ‘How Much Is the Fish?’, ‘Hyper Hyper’, and ‘Nessaja’ with recent material from Scooter Forever. Scooter Forever, which combines new hardstyle tracks with reinterpretations of rave classics, was the product of extensive trial-and-error, Baxxter says.
“While producing, we try out many different sounds and hook lines,” he continues. “You try to fit it together and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. You get a feeling if something sounds cool or not. But, sometimes, in the end, when you finish a tune and you sleep one more night, the next day you think, ‘No, I don’t like it.’ Then, everything is erased, and you start anew.”
