Metalocalypse
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Metalocalypse

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RAWR!


Can’t talk, guys. Driving.

[INSERT HILARIOUS BLACK METAL GUY DRIVING CAR PIC HERE PLZ]

~tobes

HEAR WAYNE STATIC SOLO STUFF

Well, hear 34 seconds of it, anyway. The vertically-haired (what? Toby, shut up

-yourself) Static-X frontman has set about dropping his debut solo record Pighammer around October, and he obviously reckons it’s so fucking good he’s gonna tease your rampant anticipation with a quarter of a song instead of an actual song. Yeah, well, it’s not that great. In fact’s it’s a bit shit. I think we can all comfortably agree on that after listening to only 34 seconds of it. Together now: http://soundcloud.com/madmacent/chrome-nation-clip

TINY BIT OF NEW DREAM THEATER TRACK

What’s up with bands posting little bits and pieces of their new stuff this week? Don’t be pussies, crank the whole track. Gawd. At leastDream Theater aren’t entirely craptastic like Wayne Static over there, and you can check out 1:11 of Bridges in the Sky over at the band’s YouTube page (http://youtu.be/wGrrapMGIx8). This of course comes direct from their upcoming newie A Dramatic Turn of Events, which is out on September 13.

THE BINARY CODE POSTS A GOOD ‘UN

The Binary Code, shite oath yers. They’ve got a new LP in the works, and they’ve just loaded their Facebook page up with a pre-production take ofDark Meditations. It is the tech-crazy shiz. Garn get over to facebook.com/thebinarycode and crack on. Unexist and Trees 100 Feet Underwater are still up, too. Unmixed album heaven.

CEPHALIC LUCIDITY

Cephalic Carnage are bad-arse, which is why y’all should give two poos that they’re officially re-issuing early effort Lucid Interval through Relapse Records in September. They’re gonna be dollying up the packaging with new bobs and bibs, as well as tacking a previously unreleased track onto the end of things there. Pre-order that shiz if keen over at shop.relapse.com.

DARKANE RECRUIT OLD VOCALIST

Er, yes. In a strange turn of events, Darkane have split with newish vocalist Jens Broman (who left citing “personal issues”) and replaced him with former throat, Lawrence Mackrory. Eh, what? Says Lawrence: “13 years! It is with great pleasure I can finally announce my return to Darkane. I have been waiting for this opportunity to appear and finally the time was right for me to continue what we started 13 years ago. Both Andreas and Jens have done a tremendous job with the band, which will keep me on my toes while performing live for sure.”

The band have spent the last 18 months working on their next record. More info on that when I gets it.

COHEED AND CAMBRIA BASSIST SACKED

Dude, Nick Oliveri can get away with battling a SWAT team at his house, but he’s Nick Oliveri. He bros down. He was inKyuss. He told that Josh Homme to get fucked. He’s always naked and doesn’t afraid of no thing. Michael Todd, on the other foot, is just the bassist in Coheed and Cambria – or at least, he was until they fired him after he unsuccessfully tried to rob a pharmacy pre-show the other week. He’s outta there: “After a lot of thought, introspection and discussion, Coheed and Cambria will be continuing our journey without bassist Michael Todd. We have spoken to him and this is a mutual decision between both parties. Michael was a great contributor; our hearts go out to his family and to all those who appreciate his talents. We wish him nothing but the very best.”

GWAR BASSIST FUCKS OFF

Bass players, mate. Nuttin’ but troubs, and GWAR low-ender Beefcake the Mighty (or, uh, Casey Orr) has decided to jump from the monster-metal ship, too. Say the band: “It’s true, Casey Orr has left GWAR. The split was expected and completely amicable, and we wish him the best. You fools…it is true Casey has left, but Beefcake the Mighty lives on! And GWAR continues to RULE.”

BORKNAGAR ARE RECORDING

The Bork! Those hollering heretical Vikings are at it again, punching up a new one that’s due out on Century in February next year. Øystein G. Brun‘s all about it: “As we speak I am currently sitting in my home studio (The Bork-tower) in Bergen recording guitars for the new Borknagar album. I have been working 24/7 the last weeks to get out the very best of my abilities and polish all riffs into perfection. I am so excited about this production as we have been planning to take a huge step forward in terms of production and being able to finalize our new effort with Jens at Fascination Street Studio is a perfect match.”

STAMP YA HAND

This Satdee The Scarlets are launching their new EP Bombshell at the Hi-Fi Bar. Get down there and ogle them, for heaven’s sake, they’re all very attractive people. Running support on the night will be Ten Thousand, The Mercy Kills, and Hatchet Dawn. Tix are $15 on the door or nab some $10 pre-sales from the bands themselves.

FEEDBACK

Whatre you listening to RIGHT NOW. No cheating just say..

  • Rachel

Khaaaaaaan! No seriously, it’s Khann. Their new record ‘Erode’ is balls-together excellent. Good thing you didn’t get me five minutes ago, though. Back then it was The Lost Boys soundtrack.

~tobes