Queen Of Denmark is a stirring piano-laden record that deals with the self-examination and personal discovery that follows a decade-long battle with alcohol and cocaine dependency. A torturous period triggered by a life-long struggle with his identity and sexuality, Grant had to leave The Czars to save himself.
“In Czars, we were individuals who didn’t need to be in a band together – it wasn’t about the music so much as it was about getting away from our lives,” Grant concedes. “For me, I definitely stayed in it many, many years longer than I should have, because it was comfortable and there were times when we thought we were going to get recognised for what we were doing, but I was too damaged as a person and really succumbing to alcoholism and drugs.
“I was just doomed. I had to quit and fall apart before I could actually do this solo album. I’ve been clean for almost seven years now.”
The bulk of Queen Of Denmark was inspired by Grant’s experience of growing up gay in a religious household in Michigan. “I don’t think it’s liberated me from any of that, but it’s certainly helped me have an outlet where I can express myself,” explains Grant. “It doesn’t really take away the problems, but it gives me a way to give something to people and also at the same time deal with myself and express myself.
“There are definitely a lot of people out there who are still going through it,” he ponders. “Even though things have gotten better, there are still tonnes of hatred out there towards gays, and I do think that song makes it easy for some people to express those feelings when they hear somebody else singing it. I think people feel emboldened or encouraged just to hear someone else say what you’re thinking. I have received letters from people that said that my album helped them through the process of coming out to their family and that they’re experiencing huge relief now that they didn’t have to hide it anymore. It’s an amazing thing for me to experience – it makes me really happy.”
The period prior to the creation of Queen Of Denmark, however, was Grant’s lowest point. When one has lost all self-belief, that individual requires – above all – someone who believes, unconditionally, in them. The defining moment came when Grant befriended revered Texas folk-rock quintet Midlake (both on the Bella Union label) at South By Southwest, who not only opened their homes and studio to him for free, but would co-produce, engineer and perform on Grant’s solo album. “They were committed to helping me realise my vision, so they didn’t question any of the things that I wanted to do or any of the things that I needed to talk about,” Grant relates. “They were just supportive of me and loved all of it. And it was liberating for me – to speak my mind and to be around friends who love you unconditionally.”
The recording process of Queen Of Denmark was rather sporadic as Midlake were recording their third album, The Courage Of Others, during the day. “They would go home to have dinner and usually Eric (Pulido – guitarist) and Paul (Alexander – bassist) would come back and we would work in the evening,” Grant explains. “I usually wrote lyrics and worked on melodies during the day when they were in the studio – even though it was, at times, painful to talk about the things that I was talking about, it was also a lot of fun. I had the most fun I’ve ever had making music.”
After all, Queen Of Denmark also portrays Grant’s dark humour alongside the heart-wrenching subject matters. It’s most evident in the title track in which Grant opens the song with the classic line: “I wanted to change the world / But I couldn’t even change my underwear”. “I think that’s the reality of life,” Grant considers. “That’s how things usually are on a daily basis – you deal with all these mundane, everyday things at the same time that you’re dealing with the culture that you’re in and the pop culture that you’re in the middle of and at the same time that you’re dealing with all this difficult stuff. That’s the way life is – it is the blackest of humour … I’m just telling it like it is; you don’t even have to make that shit up. It’s painful and difficult and beautiful and sad, and half the time you don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“I definitely feel like I’m in a better place with myself – it’s a constant up-and-down journey,” Grant ascertains. “It’s about progress and it’s also making peace with the fact that you’re never gonna really arrive anywhere. It’s always gonna be difficult but it’s about making peace with who you are, and continuing to allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to be able to create instead of hardening yourself up like I wanted to with drugs and alcohol, because I thought I was too weak for this world and I needed to destroy the vulnerability in myself in order to survive in this world. And I made peace with the fact that those things are good about me, and I’m no better or no worse than anybody else. I think that if you can reach that point where you realise you’re no better or worse than anybody else then I think that’s a great place to be. I don’t think it can get much better than that.”
