Ingredients
4 X Cups Corn Flakes
2 x Tablespoons Honey
1 x 280g Bag Marshmallows
90g Butter
Step 1.
Have a few beers at The Retreat, and then pop over to to the Aldi next door. Buy your various ingredients, which will include generic brand cornflakes, butter, a bag of marshmallows and honey. Grab some Aldi brand chocolate malt balls to eat while you’re cooking. They’re surprisingly malty.
Step 2.
Put a pot on the cooker. Chuck about the butter in the pot to melt. Watch it melt. Soothing, isn’t it?
Step 3.
Drizzle some honey in there. Don’t spoon it in. Don’t dollop it. Drizzle. Drizzle it real good. Imagine Nigella Lawson whispering “drizzle it” in your ear.
Step 4.
Chuck some marshmallows in there. The whole bag. Some people might tell you that honey joys don’t need marshmallows, that marshmallows only belong in rice crispy squares. Those people are no fun. Melt all that sweet stuff together in that pot until it’s pink and gooey. Stir it with a wooden spoon. If it looks like food so far, you’ve fucked up.
Step 5.
Pour your pink slime into a bowl with your cornflakes – this is not to be confused with the “pink slime” used in pet foods and McDonald’s hamburgers that Jamie Oliver gets upset about – then stir until it’s all sticky.
Step 6.
Chuck it into some patty pans. Put them in the fridge to cool for half an hour or so. If your fridge is already full of beer and out-of-date spinach dip, cool your honey joys on the balcony. It’s pretty cold outside. Our just eat them immediately. I’m not your mum.
Step 7.
Enjoy your culinary creation. Take them to a party and share them about, or lay in bed and eat them all yourself like the beautiful mess you are. While you’re doing it, have a listen to The Dead Heir’s new singles featured on the B-side, Nubanga and Forget About It on Facebook or Band Camp.
