“Wow, it feels like summer,” you texted your group chat last week.
You weren’t wrong, it was glorious, we hit 20 degrees and everyone looked sexier with a sunshine glow on their face. Naarm/Melbourne loves giving false hope and this week we’re back to sub-10 degrees at night. Yuck.
But there is hope. Who will get us through the last fortnight before spring? Music, motherfuckers. Music is always the answer. We’re nearly there, I promise. Here are 11 tracks to defrost the kitchen dancefloor and say fuck you to winter.
Keep up with the latest music news, features, festivals, interviews and reviews here.
Bateau Blanc – Flush
Fresh French house that has a drop dirtier than the Seine. Bateau Blanc has 200K Shazams in less than a year, it’s a new project from Vito De Luca of Aeroplane. The drop is so big it may cause a sinkhole near your pantry, je suis désolé. I played it at Golden Plains while The Sup’ marinated in 38 degree heat and it sent the crowd sideways. Afterwards, a French backpacker DMed me on the Terrible Tuesday “The nursery rhyme sample of the French kids took me back to when I grew up in Paris. I cried tears of joy…it definitely wasn’t the MD.” It’ll make your cheeks flush, hence, warmth.
Guess – Charli XCX feat Billie Eilish
Charli is on a heater right now. She’s turned Naarm Winter into Brat Summer. Von Dutch and 365were side-eyeing each other to make the cut here then Charli racked up this line: “Pull it to the side and get all up in it”. Billie went even further: “Charli likes boys but she knows I’d hit it.” I played this at the Gaso two Saturdays ago at 2.30am and the bartender chick yelled out “This better be the remix…” then started throwing wild shapes as she served Fireballs. You know I’m with it.
Heat Makes Sense – Greg Paulus, Taylor Bense
Segue to another literal heater, this 2023 track has gone under the radar thus far and that simply won’t do. The Brooklyn duo give us a sturdy 123bpm track that wriggles and glides like a sea-snake until the 2min37sec moment when it says fang you very much with a potent neurotoxin that will have you panting: “I want you to know, you make me wanna get on the floor.”
Drop It Like It’s Hot – Magic Drum Orchestra, Biggabush
The algorithm cops a lot of shit but when Spotify Discovery served up this sparse, instrumental reimaging of Snoop and Pharrell’s low-slung hip hop hit I knew from the first whistle we’d found gold. This will get everyone doing their best “Snooooooooo-oop” and donning equestrian gear inspired by The Doggfather’s Paris Olympics get-up. Where’s the fancy dress box?
Nightcall- Kavinsky
Speaking of all things French, did you know this noirish banger broke a record at the Paris Olympics Closing Ceremony? It became the most Shazammed song in one day when Kavinsky performed it with smoky Belgium chanteuse Angele. Because you’re a cool person you remember Nightcall from the movie Drive or London Grammar’s version of it or probably both (sunglasses emoji). For those coming to our Night Cat show on August 31 you may experience a sense of déjà vu around midnight…no more hints.
To Be Real – Wuki, Lee Foss and Cheryl Lyn
Milo “so hot right now” Eastwood dropped this at Meredith Festival in December and the energy levels went from 10 to 20. It takes a 115bpm disco classic (which featured in a strip club scene from Carlito’s Way that I definitely didn’t watch 40+ times as a horny teen) and cranks the pace up to 130 beats per minute, sitting juuust on the right side of good taste with two huge breakdowns and slamming pay-offs. NB: probably best you ignore Wuki’s other big remix titled Sunshine, it has no chill.
Steamworks – The Presets
Riding high on their very well-received DJ set supporting The Chemical Brothers, The Presets are once again having a moment. This breathy banger from their 2005 debut album Beams features a sweaty, thigh-on-thigh hand-smack. For those who were at 2006 Meredith aka “The Hot One” this will take you back to 10,000+ people grinding as one, all grunts, gasps & gulps of muggy air. Oh, and it also has a late siren that sounds equally menacing and comforting. Call the fire brigade, tell them to leave their hoses behind but bring silver blankets and the amyl.
Despacio – Bontan
This track was first played in Naarm in the three-way Wax’o Paradiso party by Edd Fisher, Simon TK and Brad Zero at Abbotsford Convent. Wait for the brief silence late in the track before all *hell breaks loose with crowd noises, steel drums and an ejaculating trumpet (there is no other way to describe it).
*apparently it gets hot down there.
Dress Code – Mau P
Is this really the same guy who gave us the absolute abomination Drugs From Amsterdam? Mau Peee-ewwww. Thankfully, Dress Code is a breath of camp, sleazy air, like RuPaul vaping DMT and swapping Balenciaga bitching for B-boy scratching. “You just gotta let go and Embrace. Your. Self.”
Birdcage – You Man (PPJ Version)
Nothing like sending a kitchen party sideways with a 136bpm underground smash. This is the song that all your friends with Marimekko plate eyes will ask “Who the fuck is this? FUEGO!!” which will make you blush with inescapable giddy happiness. Warm cheeks, full hearts, can’t lose.
The Spark – Kabin Crew, Lisdoonvarna Crew
Now we’re really up and about it’s time for breakneck drum’n’bass. The Spark has come along and made us fall in love with a group of Cork kids, aged from nine to 12 years old, singing about positivity and self-belief. This will give your house party (things really escalated) the warm ‘n’ fuzzy feelings while releasing everyone’s endorphins as calf muscles get a bloody good workout and the room chants: “Any obstacle we find a way around it, If you’re proud of who you are and what you do, shout it.”
NB: don’t think it’s lost on me that spark = lit = straight fire. This shit writes itself.
That’s a PB: Revolver Trivia’s 15th Bday, Revolver, Prahran, Aug 27, 6.30-9.30pm (then tasteful kick-ons) Free. Register by emailing approx team numbers to [email protected] or DM @joeylightbulb
Joey Lightbulb’s Double Happiness, The Night Cat, Fitzroy, Aug 31, 8pm-3am. Early bird tix. $24.90. www.moshtix.com.au
Joey Lightbulb supporting The Presets, Live At The Gardens, Royal Botanical Gardens, Nov 15 with Midnight Juggernauts (DJ set) Haiku Hands. $119.90-$145.39, www.liveatthegardens.com.au
