American Pie: Reunion

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American Pie: Reunion


“No, we’ve just been watching bad hotel porn. The hotel porn in Australia sucks. I love Australia, but it’s fucking fake. It’s like late night Cinemax is even better. I love Australia, but the hotel porn dude?” says Seann, shaking his head.

“That’s the trippiest for me, when I’m in like France, and [about] to watch hotel porn, and I’m like, ‘This is going to be fucking great. Fucking French, they’re down with the funky shit. There’s gonna be crazy, hot French chicks and you turn it on and it’s clearly like a chick and a dude and they’re in a fucking pool in the backyard in Chatsworth in The Valley in California,” enlightens Jason.

“And it’s even worse when it’s not really their voices. But in Germany, that’s when I was introduced to a whole other world, it’s like holy shit man, it’s all about the anus. Like two seconds in, it’s assfucking.”


“I know right.”

It is at this point in the discussion that the interview never recovered. If you don’t want to read about masturbation, pornography and further masturbation, stop now and save yourself.

After suggesting to the fellas to spend their final night out in Melbourne at Fashion Keyboard (the girls are…youthful), Seann emphasises just how much they’ve grown since the release of the third American Pie film – American Pie: The Wedding.

“Fashion Keyboard, okay. I’m like the one guy there, just the old guy. They’re like, ‘My dad’s a big fan of yours!’ and I’m like, ‘Great!’…We’re leaving tomorrow [though]”.

“But I’m gonna be fucked up on MDMA on the flight, for sure; the whole flight I’m gonna be tripping balls,” adds Jason.

Whilst American Pie: The Reunion receives its title from the high school reunion of East Great Falls’ class of 1999, the film also reunites Jim with a familiar franchise enemy: the naked female body. Once again, Jim finds himself in an encounter with a set of cheeky titties up to no good and sure to get him into some serious trouble.

“Ali Cobrin wins,” Jason declares, as the gold-medallist of breasts in the entire film series. “Well, they’re natural.”

“They’re fucking pretty great,” adds the Stifmeister.

“You know, she’s not 18, but the idea of her just turning 18. Well I guess Nadia was meant to be in high school as well, but hey listen, all the girls, you know, good times. Don’t get me wrong, they’re all…very…attractive…women with…nice boobies,” stammers Jason.

“You sound like Eugene [Levy – Jim’s father in American Pie] right now.”

Eugene Levy was one of the only original cast members featured in the American Pie spin-off films, and whilst he is the father figure on and off screen, he is hardly innocent of partaking in the inappropriate antics of the quirky cast on and off set.

“He’s a bit more reserved but he’ll go there, he’ll drop something in. Like we’ll be in interviews with him and we’ll be going to these fucked up places and making all these weird jokes and he’ll be sitting there going, ‘Mmhmm mmm good one’ and just when you think that actually maybe you’ve offended Eugene or something like, ‘Oh god maybe I’m acting too childish and immature’ he’ll just drop something in line with what we were saying, like, ‘Mmm pussy’. You’re just like, ‘What!’” screams Jason.

A vital ingredient in the success of the American Pie franchise is the remarkable chemistry between the cast members, with familiarity particularly influential in building this strong rapport. However, whilst their chemistry is beneficial on screen, their tight-knit friendships are quite destructive when the cameras are off, as Jason elaborates.

“Anytime you got all the guys, all five of us, we would just be fucking around and laughing. Dude, we got in trouble because we were like shooting in this suburb of Atlanta – very Christian, and we’re fucking [dirty], and I’m especially dirty – and we kept pretending to be like jerking off [pretends to masturbate, adopting a facial expression that will leave an indelible impression on our eyes forever].”

“No, we’re talking like, it went on for about a month,” interjects Seann, “where [Jason] Biggs and Eddie [Kaye Thomas, who plays Finch] would be like [pretends to be whacking off], ‘Oooooh’. And then I’d be like, ‘Oh man I’m fucking hungry’ and he’d be like, ‘Oh you’re hungry [pretends to beat the meat]. Oh you’re fucking hungry? Oh my god you’re hungry.”

“It’s like we created this character who would just get so horny and [choke the bishop to] the most ridiculous things people would say,” Jason elucidates. “Eddie would be like, ‘Almost time for lunch’, [pretends to tug the titanic], ‘Oh my god lunch. What you got to eat? Oh you’re having chicken? Tell me you’re having chicken.”

“I mean literally, in front of the crew, and you’d do it in a really weird way too!” laughs Seann. “It was as if [Jason] had the fucking smallest dick ever, you’d be like a little monkey [pretends to spank the clown]. There was that and hitting each other in the balls. Then it took about a month and a half–”

“Oh the producers!” interrupts Jason, smiling.

Seann continues, “[One of the producers] gets all the guys together and we’re like, ‘What the fuck’s going on man?’”

“And he’s just like, ‘Listen. Some people are not…comfortable with your antics’,” remembers Jason.

“And we’re all just quiet, we’re just waiting for him to talk about what we did.”

“We’ve been doing this for fucking years, and we’re shooting an American Pie movie, I’m showing my cock for fuck’s sake.”

“And he goes, ‘They’re very uncomfortable with your antics and we’re like [puts on a dumbfounded expression]. And he goes, ‘The fake masturbating thing, and also the hitting each other in the dick’. And we all got offended, we’re like, ‘THE FUCK! This is American Pie! I shit in a cooler!” exclaims Seann.

“This is what I do!” chimes Biggs.

One of the most fun aspects of the film are the random cameo appearances of fan-favourite characters from the previous films, including Nadia, The Sherminator, Heather, and of course, Stifler’s Mom. Hypothetically swapping characters with Finch – would Seann William-Scott fuck a best friend’s mother, in real life?

“A best friend’s mum?” responds Seann, pausing for contemplation.

“Yeah, I would”.

“I love that you were a like a little bit serious thinking about that.”

“Well I was thinking about some of my best friends’ mums, and I’m like, ‘Well…I wouldn’t fuck their mums. If I had a friend whose mum was kinda sexy, fuck yeah. I don’t give a shit about my friendship.”

“Listen, for a good lay, you gotta do whatever you gotta do.”

“He’ll deal with it,” Seann responds. “We’ll stop being friends for a couple of years, I don’t care.”

“We don’t all have, you know, Flatbush Keyboard or whatever that name of that club is, around the corner from us. Some of us have to work for our young pussy,” jokes Jason.

“Or our old pussy,” laughs Seann.