So how does one do this? You go on a juice cleanse. That’s when BlendCo swooped in to save my days. BlendCo are a local company that are all about promoting a healthy and holistic lifestyle, and they firmly believe in being kind to your body and mind. Now because I’m a bit of a wuss, I went with their three day cleanse instead of the five or seven day options. First step was to cut out processed food, alcohol, cigarettes and caffeine. So obviously the day before I started I went to get KFC and a bottle of Pepsi, because I have zero self control and this is going to be a tougher challenge than I thought.
Day one:
Juice #1 is awesome. It contains orange, carrot, turmeric, ginger and something called camu camu. It is meant to be drunk upon waking, which was around 11am on Sunday morning, because I had a KFC hangover. I went to get my nails done at 12, and was feeling pretty good, until the smell of the warm wheat bags they use to take acrylic nails off made me salivate.
3pm: Drank Juice number two, which contains almonds, cashews, chia seeds, dates, vanilla bean, cinnamon, and something called lucuma. I then engaged in some vigorous exercise because the brochure said so, which then made me hungry.
4pm: I had my first cigarette of the day because I couldn’t help myself, but still no caffeine.
5pm: I had a cup of green tea. Is that cheating? Onto juice three and I’m not hungry, I’ve passed hungry, it’s the green one and it tastes like green (contains kale, spinach, lettuce, parsley, cucumber, apple, pear and something called chlorella).
7pm: I’m really full of juice and drinking number four is difficult, don’t get me wrong, it tastes great, it’s just so much liquid. This one is sharper tasting and contains pineapple, pear, cinnamon, vanilla, lemon, and something called nopal cactus.
8pm: I’m in bed, I’m tired, and I’m sloshing around like a hot water bottle and I skip the last two juices as I’m just too full. Please do not make me drink any more liquid.
Day two:
9am: Deadline Monday’s at Beat are always intense, but try not eating or drinking Red Bulls and coffee and you may get a little emotional.
10am: I had to ask to the team at BlendCo if I was allowed to get some miso soup as I just wanted something warm and salty. They gave me some kind words of encouragement and a mug of hot water with lemon that surprisingly made things a bit better. I started to notice I couldn’t spell particularly well. My brain is just isn’t working as well as usual.
11am: Had a cigarette and feeling a bit vulnerable, the guys said that day two brings up a lot of emotions as there is no room to emotionally eat, which is something I’m guilty of as food brings me incredible joy. I’m told that cleanses aren’t just about helping out your body, but helping your mind to be clear, and to have an emotion release and heal.
12pm: Fuck it. I had a Chupa Chup.
3pm: Onto juice four and I’m feeling better. Little do I know this is the best I’ll feel all day.
6pm: Everyone in the office gets pizza for dinner and I have to sit here with juice five and try not to cry. At least it tastes wonderful and fresh, as it contains ingredients that I’m familiar with, like beetroot, celery, spinach, apple, pear and acai berry.
9pm: On my drive home from work with juice number 6, and I’ve decided that I need to drink and drive to survive. The last juice of the day is the same as number two and I smash this thick and creamy smoothie down in two minutes flat. It’s been a really tough day.
10pm: I crumble a bit and eat the seasoning at the bottom of a pizza Shapes bag. I’m not even ashamed.
Day three:
9.30am: I feel good today, really good.
12pm: I’m still feeling great and bouncing off the walls.
3.30pm: Ok now I’m hungry, and smelling everyone’s lunch is killing me, but my sense of smell is amazing. Is that ravioli? Carbonara? Paint? Goyza? Salt and vinegar chips? I am super human.
4.30pm: The editor of Fashion Journal just had to have her birthday today, cake everywhere, donuts, soft drink. Oh the humanity.
6pm: I’m drinking and driving again, very hungry now and hoping it subsides soon.
8pm: I sneak a miso soup and fall fast asleep.
Day four:
7am: I bounce out of bed, and super excited to start the day. My skin looks brighter, I feel lighter and I’m full of joy. My first meal is a classic avocado toastie with bacon. I can smell it as it lands in front of me. Oh the glory of bacon, the toast is so crispy, the avocado is creamy perfection, and it all tastes like heaven. I’ve got to be perfectly honest, being kind to my body was a challenge and I struggled with it each day, but I’m really proud that I was able to finish the cleanse without straying too much. I would do it again, and for how it made me feel, I highly recommend it, but I don’t recommend binging on KFC beforehand.
BY TEGAN LOUISE
