“I figure most people will think he’s Dick Van Dyke and we should get some big crowds,” Friedman chuckles. “Van Dyke also played cello on Good Vibrations, you recall.”
It will be the first joint overseas tour for the two icons. “Van Dyke and I met on the gangplank on Noah’s Ark,” Friedman jokes. “No, Van Dyke and I met at songwriter Jimmy Webb’s birthday party in Hollywood maybe 35, 40 years ago. I was pretty well walking on my knuckles that night and Van Dyke was so high he needed a stepladder to scratch his ass. We’ve been friends ever since, and this is our first chance to do something like this.”
The Kinkster, infamous for not writing new songs since his heyday in the seventies with his band The Texas Jewboys, has a compromise. “I’ve retooled on old song, now called Waitret, Please Waitret Come Sit On My Facebook,” Friedman confesses. “We’ll do it in Australia if Van Dyke can orchestrate the cello part for it.”
Friedman is also elated that both Willie Nelson – subjectof one of his 21 novels – is one of two Texans recording tribute CDS to him. Nelson, 78, sang Ride Em Jewboy on 1998 Kinky tribute Pearls In The Snow that also featured Lyle Lovett on Sold American. The other is by fellow singing actor Jesse Dayton who is one of three thespians depicting The Kinkster at different stages of his career in stage show Becoming Kinky. “To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, I’m glad he’s the right man chosen to misrepresent me,” he confides with a grin.
“Jesse is a real actor and a real musician – he’s not an Elvis impersonator. He played with Waylon Jennings for years. He’s working on an album of Kinky songs – as is Willie. I’m turning into a Jewish Oprah… without the money,” he laughs. “Things are looking very bright for me at 66… but I read at a 68 year old level. With all the tributes coming to the Kinkster at this point I must tell you what Lowell George told me years ago – ‘it’s happened about 10 minutes too late to make any difference at all’,” he laughs.
And, although Kinky Friedman ran for Texan Governor twice, he’s since quit politics. That’s despite being a popular White House guest of Presidents Bill Clinton and George Dubya Bush. And, although Friedman’s 2002 Australian tour partner Billy Joe Shaver is a honky tonk sharp shooter, he wasn’t on the Obama raid that took out Osama Bin Laden. “I helped plan that raid,” Friedman confides jokingly. “You’ve got to give Obama credit for that – it happened on his watch but I think George Dubya had something to do with that.
“I’m not very inspired by any politicians,” he adds. “I think musicians could run the country better than politicians. I have said many times we won’t get much done in the morning, but we’ll work late and we’ll be honest.”
Friedman is touring here to promote latest books What Would Kinky Do? and Heroes Of A Texas Childhood. “I’ll read from the Texas book in the show and afterwards sign anything but bad legislation,” Friedman reveals. “But only two of the 23 heroes in the book are still alive – Willie Nelson and a defence lawyer in Houston, Racehorse Haynes – they’re real heroes and legends. The tragedies of their lives are remarkable – if you fail at some thing long enough you become a legend.”
On previous tours Kinky’s partners have included a Miss Texas and a teacher. What about this tour? “I’m in love with a girl who is Hank Williams age when he died (29),” Friedman, 66, teases. Will she be accompanying him down under this time, it’s asked? “No, she’s shaking her head,” replies Friedman, “if she did she would charm the pants of all Australians.”
Meanwhile The Kinkster is letting Billy Bob Thornton set the pace on their new book. “The Billy Bob book is a joy, he’s writing it by himself so far, what I’ve heard is sensational,” Friedman explains. “The title of the book is going to be from one of the songs he wrote – Hey You, I’m Talking To Me. My role is Jiminy Cricket: to make it fun. My role is yet to be defined. Hopefully I won’t have to write a word of it – he’s a great storyteller.”
So, of course, is Friedman, whose backstage requirements for his Australian concerts are modest. “Van Dyke will be drinking Australian wine and I’ll be drinking Mexican mouthwash,” the comic confesses.
Transportation is also well in hand. “Willie gave me some good advice: ‘If you’re going to have sex with an animal, always make it a horse.’ That way, if things don’t work out, at least you know you’ve got a ride home,” he grins.
