Wet Cement
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Wet Cement

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Wet Cement is a show made of candy floss with the odd iron nail hidden inside – enjoyable and frothy yet original.  Playing on the notion that she’s some kind of loser in life – a joke you just agree to go along with since the performer here is an uncommonly winsome, husky-voiced, confident young woman who can belt out a show tune like the best of them – Stephanie Teitelbaum gives you 45 minutes of anecdotes and reflections on her (apparently) half-arsed life.

“It’s the full-arsed who’ve fucked up the world, anyway,” she reflects at one point in this funny homage to the daggy, unmotivated and uninspired everywhere. She’s a charmer, this one, and knows exactly what she’s up to, which is half the fun – it’s this nudge wink at myself look at what I’m doing here aspect to Wet Cement which is so beguiling.

Teitelbaum’s show is really a vehicle for her to let rip with her marvelous singing voice and she delivers on songs from Etta James and Eva Cassidy, along with much much-loved classics such as Is That All There Is, You Don’t Own Me, It’s Oh So Quiet and a medley including  Ain’t No Sunshine. Having said that, there’s nothing not to like about the spoken bits, the writing is tight and controlled and Teitelbaum offers some lines which are quite bonkers. For example, when musing about her future she says “I’ll probably have some kids. Maybe four. But I’ll only make three sandwiches. The weakest one won’t get fed.” Pianist Boris Conley accompanies her and provides a straight man shtick to her very wacky humour. As well as a cabaret performer Teitelbaum is the producer and presenter of Syn Media’s radio show Velcro Couch. This girl’s going places.

The fact that the show’s only 45 minutes long instead of the usual 50 minutes is perfectly half-arsed.

BY LIZA DEZFOULI