An alien council, in trying to decide whether or not to eliminate earth, bestow limitless power onto an average human being (Neil, played by Simon Pegg). If he can use his powers for good instead of evil, the planet will be saved. The idea of a comedy film ‘without limits’ is a relatively overdone concept: we’ve been subjected to these often ‘feats’ of imagination over the years (The Mask, The Invention of Lying) to little success, and Absolutely Anything is nothing new.
Recycling the same jokes over and over again – isn’t it funny how he has to be so specific with his wishes, otherwise they don’t end up as desired! – and relying on cheap laughs to get by, Absolutely Anything is an easy comedy, but not the type that you’re happy to have settled for. The film is way too self-referential for its own good, with so many rib-nudging lines espoused in just the first thirty minutes that it’s hard to keep up with them all. The plot is introduced in the most ungainly way: Neil’s colleague Ray (Sanjeev Bhaskar) asks Neil what he would do if he could do anything, leading to the first discovery of Neil’s powers. Certainly plot development like this has its place in family movies, but Absolutely Anything exists in a weird grey area between family friendly and explicit. The characters never say fuck (substituted for the clunky ‘feck’) but at one point Neil wishes he had a massive dick and falls over from the weight of his newfound member. Following on with a gag straight out of the ’90s, Neil asks for a penis that women will like, and then has to specify that it be white. With tired jokes like that permeating the film, one has to wonder, who would be allowed to both see Absolutely Anything and enjoy it in its entirety?
The biggest downfall of the film, however, is the missed opportunity to showcase an all-star voice cast. The alien council is voiced by the remaining Monty Python cast in a reunion of sorts, and Neil’s dog Dennis is voiced by late comedy king Robin Williams. The aliens are certainly amusing, but are dealt some of the worst lines –or maybe the Monty Python boat sailed two decades ago, and director Terry Jones shouldn’t have even bothered, but that’s for another time– and Williams is given hardly any space to move in the role. He does well to work within the confines of his ‘don’t-ask-me-I’m-just-a-dog’ character, but one boggles at the idea that a film with such a boundless premise would choose to give Robin Williams a restricted role wherein he is bound by the logic of a dog, and wants for only biscuits and leg-humping. If you go to see Absolutely Anything to catch a cheap laugh and don’t mind Simon Pegg’s latest work, you’ll have a fine time. If you, like most other attendees, want to go and see this film based on the voice cast, it will be as big a waste of your time as the film itself is a waste of all-star talent.
BY ALI SCHNABEL
