h

Crunch!

Posted 31 Aug 2011 @ 8:41am

RAWR!

 


Being liked is easy: Say and do things that please other people. I'd never begrudge anyone for wanting to be popular because, hey, free drinks sometimes, but that kind of bland pandering - blandering - does not a good objective force make. Sometimes, shit is shit. Real humans gotta call it like it is. Riddle me this: If you sucked total ass at something, wouldn't...

Posted 24 Aug 2011 @ 9:35am

RAWR!

Can't talk, guys. Flared up with froth.

 

~tobes

 

TESSERACT VOCALIST QUITS


Seeing Periphery tour this year was an important day for me, 'cos I realised how I much I don't actually like Periphery. What was even more important was that I got to see TesseracT on that tour, and I realised how absolutely fucking phenomenal TesseracT...

Posted 18 Aug 2011 @ 9:27am

RAWR!


Hey guys, can't wait to get myself to Soundwave Rev- oh. Too soon? Nah. The promoters kinda deserve a bit of flack, really, if only for the fact that nobody has told anyone a fucking thing about why it was really cancelled. An honest explanation would've done wonders for their PR, not to mention the sanctity of their Facebook wall. This stuff about Limp Bizkit...

Posted 10 Aug 2011 @ 8:26am

RAWR!


Can't talk, guys. Driving.

 

[INSERT HILARIOUS BLACK METAL GUY DRIVING CAR PIC HERE PLZ]

 

~tobes

 

HEAR WAYNE STATIC SOLO STUFF

 

Well, hear 34 seconds of it, anyway. The vertically-haired (what? Toby, shut up

 

-yourself) Static-X frontman has set about dropping his debut solo record Pighammer...

Posted 3 Aug 2011 @ 10:03am

RAWR!


Last week was an important week, because Taylor Momsen is finally legal. Hooray! Great girl that she is, she marked the occasion by flashing her pert post-adolescent rack at an appreciate Download Festival crowd over the weekend. Electrical tape X's or no, you can sort of make out the nipples there so it totally counts. Yes. Now all we need is for her to embrace the...

Posted 27 Jul 2011 @ 3:23pm

RAWR!

 

So Avenged Sevenfold are on the Soundwave Revolution tour and that's awesome, right? Not for those fans in Perth it isn't. A7X have elected not to play the WA leg of the tour, releasing a useless statement (that offered no explanation and was obviously penned by their management) as quietly as they could in the hope that nobody would notice. Weeell, I noticed, and that's...

Posted 20 Jul 2011 @ 2:34pm

RAWR!


So you're a huge US band and you've been tapped to do a cover story for a certain glossy music mag in Australia. You can't be fucked, because you're a huge US band and, pffft, Australia, right? Fuck Australia. Who cares, it's tiny and full of jailbirds with no money to buy merch when you tour anyway - correct? You dog your interview two times. The second time, you're...

Posted 13 Jul 2011 @ 2:26pm

RAWR!

 

The end of the world through song, every week by Toby McCasker. Email: the.metalocalypse@gmail.com , Twitter: twitter.com/jane_tobes

 

Bit of bitching and moaning over this F!*K the Politics show coming up at The Espy on August 13th. See, the booker's got both metal bands and hardcore bands on for the same...

Posted 7 Jul 2011 @ 10:01am

RAWR!

Oh mah lawd, I am sick. It's what happens when you try to follow one of those Vegan Black Metal Chef recipes to the letter but miss some of it and, instead of rewinding like a normal person, just sort of make up what you think should go in the pot and carry on powerfully. In my feverish delirium, I've somehow entered a dark nether realm where,...

Posted 28 Jun 2011 @ 2:46pm

RAWR!

Twitter makes me feel old. Man, how do you even use this shitting thing. Hash tags? Is that when ya'll develop excess nobbles of skin from charfing the good stuff? Ner? Fuck you. Anyway, I started up a separate Twatter for the ol' Metaloc but can't be arsed maintaining two of the bastard things, so come JOIN me over at twitter.com/jane_tobes to experience a relentless onslaught of...

Posted 21 Jun 2011 @ 10:16am

 

RAWR!

 

“What is djent?” you might ask. Djent, my good men and women of metal, is thusly: ‘djent’ is “an onomatopoeia for a heavily palm-muted, distorted guitar chord. It is considered to have been inspired by tech-metal band Meshuggah. Typically, the word is used to refer to music that makes use of this sound, to the sound itself, or to the...

Posted 14 Jun 2011 @ 5:21pm

RAWR!


So far, 2011 has been the best year for metal since 2001 saw classic releases all coming from Converge, Isis and Opeth (Blackwater Park, fark yers!). Shee-hit, even ’04 was good times with the Dillinger Escape Plan’s Miss Machine and Mastodon’s monstrous Leviathan. I can’t remember ever being so bowled over by class-A heaviosity so early in the piece, though. Blut...

Posted 7 Jun 2011 @ 10:23am

 

RAWR!

 

Not a day goes by where I don’t wonder whether or not fretless bass is the lamest instrument of all time. I mean, there are a fair few instances ofburnin’ fretless work in metal: Control Denied’s The Fragile Art Of Existence, Intronaut’s Prehistoricisms, Obscura’s Cosmogenesis, and anything that Sadus have ever done with Steve DiGorgio (who's been championing...

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